I’m on a journey. No, not a cruise or a conference this time. This is a different type of journey – there aren’t any boarding passes for me to lose or hotel keys to misplace. This is a very personal journey about some of my junk.
Junk that I need to GET OUT of my life. Junk that is cluttering up my vision and distracting me from life in Jesus – from ABUNDANT life in Jesus.
Today I was reading through a book/ bible study I’m using on this journey and this question hit me:
Are you praying for God to remove this from your life?
Am I? No. I’m not. I like it here in this comfortable place. I don’t want to be uncomfortable. I don’t want to do a NEW thing, I’m just going to be okay with this thing.
As long as I don’t pray, I can just tell myself it’s no big deal.
I don’t pray about it because to pray would be admitting there is problem. As long as I don’t admit it, I don’t have to face it, right?
Wrong. Sadly, very wrong and that’s why I’m walking this thing out today, right now, in the light.
I’ve taken up a challenge to make a change. This first thing that I have to change is my heart. I have this for myself as much as I know the Lord (and these sweet friends) want it for me. I have to want it even when it’s hard and when I’m sad and when I’m hurting.
I have to want to change before the Lord can change me.
I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I want to all the time. I want to sometimes – mostly when I stand on the scales or have to put on two pairs of Spanx (yes it’s doable) to wear the dress that was baggy last year.
So am I praying that the Lord will fix my ‘want to.’
I’m praying that tomorrow I will get up and want to do this thing. But even if I don’t, I’ll still move forward and I’ll keep praying that that Lord will change my heart and make my ways more like His.
After all, that is the plan.