I’ve written two posts in a week about mean girls and now I’m on my third.
Right now y’all are thinking I’m in the midst of something awful — I’m not. Life is sweet. I’m in a wonderful place and have precious friends I adore. Maybe this is why I can write about the plague of ‘mean’ among girls and women.
I’ve walked those dark days of mean — I’ve been the mean girl and on the receiving end of the mean. Today I can honestly say that I’m not in that place. Praise the Lord — He is Good!
In my last post I posed the question — how do we stop the mean? The responses were thoughtful and insightful. I learned from each of them.
I (nor you) have the power to stop the mean. That’s for the Lord to work out. I think we can only love each other through the mean stuff and it’s not going to be easy. You love her when she doesn’t love you back.
It’s my opinion (and the opinion of some of those who commented) that mean girls are mean because they are hurting. Sometimes mean is self-protection.
Sometimes what we perceive as mean is just NOT mean.
Sometimes it’s preoccupation — she didn’t speaks and acted like she didn’t hear you – because she didn’t hear you.
Sometimes it’s a different communication style — she didn’t realize you expected her to respond to that email.
Sometimes it is mean and it hurts. Sometimes it’s lies and deceit and it hurts. Sometimes it’s manipulation and it hurts. We cannot control how another person acts toward us, but we can only control our behavior toward her. We can pray for her. We can forgive her. We can reach out across the aisle, across the street, across the neighborhood — reach out in true Christian love.
I won’t kid you, it’s not easy to reach out in love & forgiveness to someone who’s hurt you, but you will be blessed by it. Take it from someone who’s been there — I’ve carried a grudge against a mean girl and it torn me apart. The hurt would not go away.
I couldn’t get over the lies and deceit. I couldn’t get over it until I stopped trying to get over it and made the choice to forgive her and move on. I still pray for her today. I mourn the loss of the friendship I thought I had, but the Lord has blessed me hundred fold.
If you have a mean girl in your path, choose forgiveness and love she may never reciprocate, but don’t consider your efforts in vain.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
5 Comments
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Marsha says:
Sometimes the mean is actually a wall of protection they’ve built up…I’m tough, you can’t hurt me. I’m in control, so I can sure hurt you instead.”
Make sense?
Just telling you what I’ve seen.
Miss you bunches!
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Shelly says:
I loved reading this. I keep thinking about His love, that I desperately need to be poured in me, so that I can love others well.
What gets me is this: Love never fails.
November 4th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Tiffany Stuart says:
I’ve been on both sides of mean girl. And forgiveness is the answer. I’ve found as I let go of what they did or forgive myself and give it to God, I feel better. It’s a hard road to walk in. I hope God continues to send you some sweet ones to remind you of His love.
No more mean.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Sheryl says:
Hey Siesta! Just wanted to drop by and say I can’t wait to hear about your weekend. You were at Lisa’s church?
Blessings~
November 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Cathy Davis says:
God’s working this topic and all things surrounding it, huh? I’m glad He’s not bring you through it - you know what I mean? phew
November 9th, 2009 at 8:48 pm