I’ve written two posts in a week about mean girls and now I’m on my third.
Right now y’all are thinking I’m in the midst of something awful — I’m not. Life is sweet. I’m in a wonderful place and have precious friends I adore. Maybe this is why I can write about the plague of ‘mean’ among girls and women.
I’ve walked those dark days of mean — I’ve been the mean girl and on the receiving end of the mean. Today I can honestly say that I’m not in that place. Praise the Lord — He is Good!
In my last post I posed the question — how do we stop the mean? The responses were thoughtful and insightful. I learned from each of them.
I (nor you) have the power to stop the mean. That’s for the Lord to work out. I think we can only love each other through the mean stuff and it’s not going to be easy. You love her when she doesn’t love you back.
It’s my opinion (and the opinion of some of those who commented) that mean girls are mean because they are hurting. Sometimes mean is self-protection.
Sometimes what we perceive as mean is just NOT mean.
Sometimes it’s preoccupation — she didn’t speaks and acted like she didn’t hear you — because she didn’t hear you.
Sometimes it’s a different communication style — she didn’t realize you expected her to respond to that email.
Sometimes it is mean and it hurts. Sometimes it’s lies and deceit and it hurts. Sometimes it’s manipulation and it hurts. We cannot control how another person acts toward us, but we can only control our behavior toward her. We can pray for her. We can forgive her. We can reach out across the aisle, across the street, across the neighborhood — reach out in true Christian love.
I won’t kid you, it’s not easy to reach out in love & forgiveness to someone who’s hurt you, but you will be blessed by it. Take it from someone who’s been there — I’ve carried a grudge against a mean girl and it torn me apart. The hurt would not go away.
I couldn’t get over the lies and deceit. I couldn’t get over it until I stopped trying to get over it and made the choice to forgive her and move on. I still pray for her today. I mourn the loss of the friendship I thought I had, but the Lord has blessed me hundred fold.
If you have a mean girl in your path, choose forgiveness and love she may never reciprocate, but don’t consider your efforts in vain.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)