Many of you have heard me talk or read my words about cruising and how much fun I have as a part of the Premier Christian Cruise staff. I love the work, our customers, my co-workers and cruising. Contrary to popular belief, I do work while on board the ship and it’s exhausting, but fun.
I’ll be honest, when I first started this job I felt guilty – very guilty. I left a position as the director of a nonprofit that works with abused and neglected children to work with a cruise company. I struggled with my decision – should I do it?
Lord, is this the life you’re calling me to? Really? Is this truly from You?
It was clear – working with Premier Christian Cruises was truly a God thing. I know the Lord wants to bless us, His Word teaches me that, but I still struggled with leaving needy children behind. I often think about the work I did with the nonprofit and pray for the remaining staff and the children they are serving.
On a recent cruise, we visited a group home in the Bahamas. These children were much like the ones I once worked with – abused, neglected, and abandoned. I held precious babies and wondered if they would ever know the love of a family. I laughed and played with two adorable pre-school girls and I stood in awe of the resilience of children.
As I stood talking to adults about the needs of the children, I felt the slightest pressure against my side. I looked down into the darkest, most soulful eyes I’ve ever seen. “Hi, what’s your name?” Her lips moved, but I could only hear the faintest of sounds. Finally, I determined her name was Rayann. While all the other children laughed, played, read us stories, danced around, and entertained us, Rayann stood by my side, just barely pressing against my side.
We talked… well, I talked and Rayann just looked at me. As I knelt down to talk with Rayann, I could see the pain in her face, the slight flinch at any fast movement, my heart shattered – this tiny creature needed protection, but I was just a woman from a cruise. I was just a part of the team who came to view the home and discuss how we might provide some type of mission experience for our guests.
We talked ideas, well others talked and I just listened but my attention was on Rayann. I asked her about school and friends and I struggled to hear her one word answers. While the adults discussed ways to help, partnership opportunities, and logistically issues, I prayed for wisdom and asked the Lord to protect Rayann.
Our time together ended way too soon, but those dark eyes and tiny voice are still with me. They haunt me. I know the Lord is up to something, but I don’t know what or where He’s leading me.
He has shown me that my experience of working with the abused, abandoned, and neglected will be used for His work whether it’s in an organization in the states or as a part of a Christian cruise company.
I don’t know where He is going with this, but I want only to walk in His will.
What about you? Is God placing your feet on a new path?