I love a great suntan, but I just don’t like to tan.  I would love to claim health concerns, but I just hate to sweat.  Hate it.  I love to be tan, I just don’t want TO tan.  And then I met Mystic Tan. 

Hello spray tan. 

At first, I was worried I’d end up looking like an rogue Oompa Loompa  and then I had a flashback to QT self tanner.  Yes, I shuddered.  Finally, I decided to go Nike… uhm, Just Do It.  

Guess what?  It worked.  I looked tan, no streaking, no weird spotting, just a tan.  Simple and very much NOT orange, which thrilled me since I really wouldn’t look good in the Ooompa Loompa poofy pants outfit. 

And the tan stayed for about a week, which is standard for the Mystic Tan. 

I’m loving this spray on tan.  I can get that sun-kissed glow without the hassle of getting all hot and sweaty.  I just stand in the Mystic Tan booth for a few minutes and VIOLA!  I’m tan. 

I see this in faith.  I once longed for the faith I saw in great leaders and teachers.  I wanted to knowledge or Kay Arthur, the humor of Angela Thomas. the teaching style of Beth Moore, and the sass of Lysa TerKeurst.   I wanted it all, but the working to get it wasn’t something I was interested in.   I wanted Spray On Faith. 

I wanted to stand in a booth and have the Lord just spray wisdom, discernment and knowledge all over me.  Let me just tell you, it does NOT work. 

Like the spray on tan, spray on faith will fade quickly when it’s scrubbed.  When you rub against something abrasive, spray on faith fades.  And with time, spray on faith will fade.  It fades because it’s just on the surface.

It’s a message spoken from the mouth and not the heart. 

It’s a scripture quoted but not understood. 

It’s clanging symbols that just make noise.

I no longer walk with Spray On Faith, I walk in the newness of a life in Christ.  I found that faith, unlike tans, cannot be sprayed on.  Faith starts in the heart.  It’s knowing that God is who He says He is and that I am who He says I am. 

Faith, the real kind, is how I walk today.  I trust that God is leading me in His ways and I understand that things don’t always make sense, but He, in His infinite wisdom, always makes sense.  It’s living out 2 Corinth 5:7.   ‘For we walk by faith, not by sight’

So, I may keep up with the spray on tan, but I’ve long given up the spray on faith. 

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy”

1 Peter 1:8

What about you?  Are you living a faith that is grounded in the hope of Christ & the glorious joy of Him? 

So here I am, trying to figure out which message is the right one.

I want to be perfect.  I want to it to be JUST RIGHT.  I want to wear the right clothes,  gesture just so, have the perfect inflection, and rock some cute heels, but what about the message.  Seems I’ve spent more time on the outside of this message than the heart of it.  I know the Lord has a message for me and I know He’s given it to me.  It’s buried under all this material stuff.  It’s buried under the cute jacket, fresh highlights and a spray on Mystic Tan.  It’s buried in the heart of this woman who is excited and absolutely terrified.  I want them to like me.  I want to fit in.  What if no one speaks to me?  What if they laugh?  My insecurities are raging and my heart is in a tizzy.

I take a deep breath.  Even though this talk is to an  evaluation group,  it’s still God’s Word.  It’s still my testimony and God will use it for His glory.  I breath out.  God is good.  He is the God who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light. (1Peter 2:9)

He has a called me to a work, His work, and I will continue on in it. (Phil 1:6)

I won’t worry about the perfect jacket, the best shoes, or the just-right accessories.   I will wrap my head and heart around the Word He has for me to share.  I will submit my will before Him, repent of my selfish junk and move forward.

I’ll pour my heart out to Him, fall face first into His Word and trust that He will show me the way.  For He is good.  All the time.

If you’ll be at She Speaks I hope we get to meet.  And if my accessories aren’t just rights or my spray tan is faded, overlook it and take a look at my heart.

I have no excuse other than I’m busy as all get out.  What is a get out and how is it busy?  I don’t know.  I just repeat these grand sayings, I don’t make them up.

Back to my poor blogging.  If you noticed my absence.  I’m sorry.  If you didn’t, well, just disregard the previous statements and let’s jog right on into the meat of this jolly little post.

I have nothing here.  I want to talk about lots of serious stuff, but I’m just not in the mood. 

I want to talk about my latest leap into healthy eating, but I’m afraid I might jinx it.  (And please don’t write me about being superstitious , I’m just joking).

I want to talk about my baby girl beginning her senior year in just a few weeks, but I’m in absolute denial. 

So, let’s just talk about what you’ve been doing this summer.  Me?  I’ve been whining about being hot.  Lord, let me, it’s H.O.T. in Alabama.  Seems it was 100 years ago that I was whining and wailing about being cold, now I’d give anything for just one day with a high temp under 98. 

And yes, I’m talking about the weather on my blog – sad. 

I wish I had some sort of theme, plan, rhyme or reason to my blog, but I don’t.  I just have me and random that I am. 

What’s happening in your summer? 

Back in the day, there was nothing more important than to have and raise children who would honor you and walk in your ways.  Have times changed?

Because I love a good topic, I immediately thought … ooh, this is a blog post and considering my lack of posting I truly doubted I’d ever get this written.  But today I find myself without much to do… if you don’t count the 74 loads of laundry, the home office in complete disarray (mid redecorating crisis) and the 14 episodes of Criminal Minds.   So, I thought why not.

I’ve been a parent for a while — almost 24 years… I know it shocks the snot  outta me too.  I really didn’t have a clue what I was walking into when I had my first baby girl — and there are times that it’s a wonder she survived my lack of skills and supreme idiocy.  That she’s here, completely functional, and a joy to be with is a testimony to God’s grace and love for His children.  Trust me when I say, I take ABSOLUTELY no credit on how well she turned out (or how well her little sister has turned out, too).

Other than the obvious things about parenting, like diapering, feeding, etc, I wish someone would have given me a list of the parenting rules (the unspoken ones).

1. Choose your child’s play dates carefully.  The company your child keeps (even at a VERY young age)  is ever so VERY important to her ability to make the team,  be a member of the in-crowd, and to the measure of his / her popularity.

2. It’s essential that you get your child into the right sports, dance, tumbling, tapping, or baton slinging as early as possible.  You don’t want your 4 year old to feel left out when her counterparts move up into competitive baton slinging and she’s still in the pre-school group.

3.  Drive home the message that it’s what is on the OUTSIDE that is important.  Sure, we all say it’s what’s on the inside that’s important, but our actions prove different.  Make sure you have the right vehicle, clothes, bag, shoes, and accessories — for you and your little ones.  Spend more time and money focusing on her (and your) appearance than on her mind or heart.  Remember it’s the outside that we are judged on.

4. Don’t be over zealous about church — definitely go to church (it’s an excellent place to meet other people) but don’t OVERDO the whole God thing. Sit quietly, take notes, sing at the right times, but don’t start the whole hand-raising thing — that’s too much.

5. Make sure your child ‘FITS’ in — no matter the cost.  Make certain he has the same clothes, toys, techy items of all the other 5 year olds, even if you don’t agree that Kindergartners need their own iPad.  Do you want your child to be left out?

6. Never, ever try to be anything but one of the crowd.  Fit in, get along, don’t make waves.  As a parent, it is your job to insure you are NEVER an embarrassment to your child’s life.

Okay, it’s all very tongue in cheek, but here is the sad part.  I see so much of this and I lived some of this.  I spent many years trying to FIT in with the crowd.   I wanted to be liked - as a woman and as a parent.  What a mess I was.

Sadly, people ARE raising their children to walk in their ways but there is no honor in those ways.

I don’t write this to condemn anyone, but to open eyes.   I made my share of mistakes as a Mom and I’m still making them, but the one thing I want my girls to know is this:

Be who God wants you to be.  Who He has called you to be.  Do not be who you think we want you to be.  Chase after God with a passion!  Only He can give you the desires of your heart.

So if you’re in the midst of the parenting years, trust God.  Seek His face.  Walk in His ways.  He will direct your path.

It hit me last night…. what do I mean?  What am I saying?  Am I just tossing around a word that sounds good.  And yes, I’ve done a lot of that in my past.

Authentic means real, true, not a fake.  But truly, what does that mean?

How do I live authentic?

Does it mean I have to tell you ALL about me?  Oh, for your sake, I hope not.  It’s 65 parts boring and the rest you don’t want to know about.

To be authentic, I have to trust that God is God and He alone rules my heart and my life.  I have to keep my eyes on Him, the author and finisher of my faith.

To be authentic, I have to live life daily in the way the Lord has laid out for me.  This means I don’t manipulate situations to my benefit or enjoyment.  This means that some days are just stinking HARD.  It also means God has a plan for my life each and EVERY day of it.

To be authentic, I have to trust God’s plan for my life and accept the sins of my past.  I have to look to God to use all things (even the yucky, icky stuff) for His great GLORY.

To be authentic, I CANNOT look to people to increase my position, my standing, my popularity — as an authentic girl I will trust God to bring the right people into my life and I will trust God’s plan for my life.

To live an authentic life, I have to grasp that God’s plan for my life is much greater than my plan and I have to walk in that plan even when it is FAR different than what I’d thought.

To live an authentic life, I will serve where God places my feet and I will rejoice in the knowledge that He is God.

I’m truly blessed to be where I am today.  I’m stunned that God would allow me to minister to His girls through gIRL: Girlfriends in Real Life and through speaking.  I don’t understand why He gives me this, but I accept His incredible grace and pray that all I do will glorify Him.

What you believe it means to be authentic?

Anyway, on to the point if I can find one  …..  last summer I was in a Bible study with several of my local girls.  I loved it!  Something so laid back and casual about summer Bible study.  This summer our wonderful hostess and leader, Caprice, decided to do another Bible study.  (I think the nine long months of the school year made her long to have chatty, off-topic encouraging, bunch of women … oh wait, that’s just me).

This year we are doing a study I did eight years ago with some dear girlfriends.    I love looking back at that old Bible study workbook and reading the words of a younger version of me.  Some things are exactly the same — apparently I’ve got some issues I’m still struggling with.  Other things have changed so much.

The first time I did this study my girls were 9 and 15 and now they are 17 and 23 — my word!

The first time I did this study I was struggling to figure out who I am in Christ, today I know who I am in Christ.  I may not always act like it, but I do know it.

Just the other night, I sat around a table with the same girls I did that Bible study with eight years ago.  We’ve all changed a little.  No longer do we talk about grade school teachers and summer day camps.  Most of our children are grown and we have a few grand-babies in the mix.  We don’t have the innocence we once had, as we’ve walked some hard roads together.  We don’t see each other as much as we once did, because we’ve scattered like a dandelion blown for good luck.

This is the first time that all six of us have been together in a long time.  We get together several times a year, but it’s rare that we all make it.  All six of us together is such a treat and a joy.

Even with the hard roads, some sad deception that entered our midst, and rare get togethers,  when we’re together we  always manage to laugh until our sides ache.

The younger me remembers the days when these friendships were nothing but goodness and fun.  Today these friendships are precious and true.  We’ve been through some stuff together — some good and some bad, but we’re still standing.

In this whoosh of time from eight years ago until today, I realize that the bonds of these friendships were strained but they held.  Today I realize the enemy saw a group of Godly women who love Jesus and each other and he set his sights on us.  This older, smarter me knows that it is only in Christ that we are still able to sit around that table and laugh.    In Christ, we will continue to stand and our friendships will stand on the foundation of Christ.  — and the knowledge that no one else would get the onion rings joke!

As for me… well, when Melinda and I first starting talking all I really knew is I wanted a way for women to come together and fellowship in Christ.  I was thinking more along the lines of a party with some prayer, but God had a whole different plan.  Over these last nine months God has continually blown my mind with His plans and His provision for those plans. 

I’m honored and awestruck to be in His service.  I’m so excited to tell you about gIRL and the website launch

And about the FIRST gIRL Gathering in Black Mountain, North Carolina – September 24-26, 2010.   I am so excited to tell you what started as an idea of a party with some prayer is now a weekend spent with a small group of women studying His Word.  We will be building 21st century relationships based on wisdom from the Temple Walls to the Early Church – timeless truths from God.

Who would have thought that social media would make such a huge impact on my life and my walk with the Lord.  He is my passion and I pray that He is yours, too. 

I hope you’ll be able to join us! I know God has some incredible days ahead for all of us gIRLS!

Recently we spent some time on the lake and I got some incredible photos of a sunsets.. well, actually two sunsets.  Gorgeous, incredible, breathtaking sunsets

I loved these sunsets.  I thanked the Lord for allowing me to see such beauty and capture them on film.

As I look over these pictures, I think about endings, about the close of the day and the twilight of seasons of life.  I’m in that place right now.  As of June 1st  I’m no longer the director of a non-profit.   I resigned.  It was time. 
I miss it already… and it’s only been 5 days.  But it was time.  The sun had set on that season of my life. 

A new day cannot dawn until the old one is gone.  God has me in this place of a new day…. and I have to walk through the sunset first. 

These amazing, breathtaking sunsets.    I think about the closing of this chapter of my life.  A chapter that began over eight years ago.  A chapter that has changed me forever – changed the way I look at families in need and specifically children in need.

Here I stand…waiting for the dawn and knowing it will come in God’ time.  

Oh, and back to the song…. in the words of Elton John…..

Don’t let the Sun Go Down on Me……
Although I search myself, it’s always someone else I see
I’d just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I’ll be honest with you, I have NO IDEA what those last two lines mean…. and I didn’t even know the actual words of those two lines until I looked them up for this post. 

I don’t want to see someone else when I search for me…. I want to be the person God has called me to be.  I don’t want to stay so long in one place that the sun sets on my head.  I don’t want to miss the daybreak of the new thing God is working out.

How about you?  Are you in a sunset period or a dawning season?   Or maybe you’re in a midday sun time.   I would love to hear where you are these days.

And if you can tell me in song lyrics… that just makes my heart sing.

Originality.  Unique.  Different. 

I like different.  I am not a fan of the cookie cutter anything. 

I love that one funky house in the neighborhood – you know the one.  And on that note, I love old neighborhoods where the houses were each different.  Different styles, different heights, different colors, different sizes… just different.  I am not a fan of the modern subdivision with the six standard house styles, matching mailboxes, and standardized yards w/ approved fences.  I know the whole property value thing… just not my style. 

When I started on this blogging journey in January 2008 one of my favorite things about the blogworld was the uniqueness in the blogs.  Sure there were some cookie cutters (and a few copy cats) but overall there was this wonderful difference in blogs – different voices, different structures, different styles and different designs.   I loved it.  There were no subdivisions with standardized yards, there were just originality popping out everywhere! 

Something is happening…. so many blogs are becoming….well, all the same.   I can’t tell you how many blogs I’ve read in the past six months that are copycats.   Where was once a unique blogging voice, I now hear an cheap knock off.   Where I once read fun exploits, I now find promotional posts.   Where I once found different,  I now find….. subdivisions.  Of course, subdivisions give you a collective voice and a more powerful presence.  I’m not knocking it, just saying I miss more of the original voices. 

Sure there are still originals, but commerce is choking off the different.  I realize that I should like the pot telling the kettle it’s black and yes, I do blog for a few different places,  but those are organizational blogs — they aren’t me.  I’m still me, just here doing the blog thing when I remember.  What about you – what’s happening in your blog world?  Are you still walking along on the different path or are you joining the collective voices?

I reserved judgment until I watched it – I spent three minutes and 49 seconds watching this 17 year old young woman dressed up in bird feathers, banging on the bars of some oversized, bizarre bird cage, singing about how she ‘can’t be tamed, can’t be blamed, and can’t be saved.’   Inappropriate. Yes.  Sad. Even more so.

This is a 17 year old child.  She may look like a woman and she may even dance like a woman, but she is a child.  She may live life in the fast lane.  But she is a child.  Someone – in authority – had to look at this video and announce they were fine with her performance.  And that’s when I get mad.

Someone had to look at this feathered, gyrating, over-sexualized mess of a video and announce they were good with it – and that someone was her parents.  She is 17!  They had the right to stop this from ever happening.   My question is why didn’t they?

As parents it’s our job to stop our kids from making incredibly stupid mistakes.  This doesn’t mean we will always succeed, but we should at LEAST TRY! I’ve read the interviews that tell of Miley given free reign to be creative.  There’s creative and then there’s trashy.    It’s our job to help them make good decisions even when they don’t like it.

I think Mr.& Mrs. Cyrus failed this child. She depends on the two of them for direction and discernment.  Certainly, she has managers, handlers, and all kinds of other ‘ers’ to help her career, but her parents have but one job – LOVE her.  And in that love they are to help her make good decisions.  Sometimes that help comes in the form of denying a request.  So what if she wants  to express her creativity.  She can do that without the gyrating and thrusting – and without the trashy metal corset.

What will she think of this video in years to come.  Will she regret her decision to put something so overtly sexual out for all the world to see?

I made some STUPID mistakes as a young woman and I regret them.   The difference in me and Miley (beyond the host of obvious ones) is there’s no film footage of my stupidity.  Sadly, Miley will always have this music video.

So before we all jump on the “bad Miley” bandwagon, think about the mistakes you made when you were a teenager.  Think about the ones your parents stopped you from making.

This is just a teenage girl with way to much authority in her decisions and who is sorely lacking adults to help her walk the road from childhood to adulthood.  She breaks my heart.

So what are your thoughts on the Miley Cyrus ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ video?