What is Authentic?
I’ve tossed around the word authentic a lot lately — I want to be authentic. I want authenticity in my friendships. I want an authentic ministry.
It hit me last night…. what do I mean? What am I saying? Am I just tossing around a word that sounds good. And yes, I’ve done a lot of that in my past.
Authentic means real, true, not a fake. But truly, what does that mean?
How do I live authentic?
Does it mean I have to tell you ALL about me? Oh, for your sake, I hope not. It’s 65 parts boring and the rest you don’t want to know about.
To be authentic, I have to trust that God is God and He alone rules my heart and my life. I have to keep my eyes on Him, the author and finisher of my faith.
To be authentic, I have to live life daily in the way the Lord has laid out for me. This means I don’t manipulate situations to my benefit or enjoyment. This means that some days are just stinking HARD. It also means God has a plan for my life each and EVERY day of it.
To be authentic, I have to trust God’s plan for my life and accept the sins of my past. I have to look to God to use all things (even the yucky, icky stuff) for His great GLORY.
To be authentic, I CANNOT look to people to increase my position, my standing, my popularity — as an authentic girl I will trust God to bring the right people into my life and I will trust God’s plan for my life.
To live an authentic life, I have to grasp that God’s plan for my life is much greater than my plan and I have to walk in that plan even when it is FAR different than what I’d thought.
To live an authentic life, I will serve where God places my feet and I will rejoice in the knowledge that He is God.
I’m truly blessed to be where I am today. I’m stunned that God would allow me to minister to His girls through gIRL: Girlfriends in Real Life and through speaking. I don’t understand why He gives me this, but I accept His incredible grace and pray that all I do will glorify Him.
What you believe it means to be authentic?
The Woosh of Life
Oh my… life does scat right along, doesn’t it? Okay, did I just sound like an OLD WOMAN? Yes, I did, just call me MeeMaw.
Anyway, on to the point if I can find one ….. last summer I was in a Bible study with several of my local girls. I loved it! Something so laid back and casual about summer Bible study. This summer our wonderful hostess and leader, Caprice, decided to do another Bible study. (I think the nine long months of the school year made her long to have chatty, off-topic encouraging, bunch of women … oh wait, that’s just me).
This year we are doing a study I did eight years ago with some dear girlfriends. I love looking back at that old Bible study workbook and reading the words of a younger version of me. Some things are exactly the same — apparently I’ve got some issues I’m still struggling with. Other things have changed so much.
The first time I did this study my girls were 9 and 15 and now they are 17 and 23 — my word!
The first time I did this study I was struggling to figure out who I am in Christ, today I know who I am in Christ. I may not always act like it, but I do know it.
Just the other night, I sat around a table with the same girls I did that Bible study with eight years ago. We’ve all changed a little. No longer do we talk about grade school teachers and summer day camps. Most of our children are grown and we have a few grand-babies in the mix. We don’t have the innocence we once had, as we’ve walked some hard roads together. We don’t see each other as much as we once did, because we’ve scattered like a dandelion blown for good luck.
This is the first time that all six of us have been together in a long time. We get together several times a year, but it’s rare that we all make it. All six of us together is such a treat and a joy.
Even with the hard roads, some sad deception that entered our midst, and rare get togethers, when we’re together we always manage to laugh until our sides ache.
The younger me remembers the days when these friendships were nothing but goodness and fun. Today these friendships are precious and true. We’ve been through some stuff together — some good and some bad, but we’re still standing.
In this whoosh of time from eight years ago until today, I realize that the bonds of these friendships were strained but they held. Today I realize the enemy saw a group of Godly women who love Jesus and each other and he set his sights on us. This older, smarter me knows that it is only in Christ that we are still able to sit around that table and laugh. In Christ, we will continue to stand and our friendships will stand on the foundation of Christ. — and the knowledge that no one else would get the onion rings joke!
A New Thing
Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG
I love this verse and it speaks volumes over my life! VOLUMES I tell you. But before I turn this blog into a long dissertation on my ‘old history,’ let me just share a 2009 blessing and the 2010 Brand New blessing!
January 2009 also brought an incredible flood of new girlfriends. Girls I’d only know through the screen came into my life in a very real way. It seemed as if the Lord removed the book on girlfriends and replaced it with a whole slew of real life girlfriends. One of those girlfriends is Melinda Garman.
Melinda and I met through our blogs and we chatted via email, but January 2009 we met in Atlanta to attend the Travis Cottrell taping.
I knew this was more than just a passing acquaintance – what I didn’t know was how the Lord was binding our hearts together for His good purpose. In a weekend filled with laughter, incredible worship and tears of joy, God brought us together and the seeds of a ministry were planted.
Let me introduce:
gIRL: Girlfriends In Real Life
meeting God together on the other side of the screen
This is a ministry that brings the friendships we forge through blogging, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media, from one side of the screen to the other…not just for a quick lunch or a quick “meet-up” after a conference, but for extended time together with God. We believe that God is calling us to deeper relationships founded on our relationship with Him, and that He is using social media to bring people together all over the world to achieve just that. We’re excited and humbled that He would be using us for this purpose!
Let’s take our love for the Lord and the fun of social media and let’s LIVE IT!
To get this ministry off the ground we knew we needed input of girlfriends far and wide – we needed some girlfriend partners. The Lord plopped Karen Barrows into our life in Memphis through social media and a wonderful girlfriend, Fran.
Karen has graciously given us use of an incredible home in the mountains for our first strategy session. She’s a true treasure and our first gIRL ministry partner — she’s partnering with us as we plan our strategy session and possibly our first gIRL event in late 2010.
We need your prayers! We are stepping out in faith and in the planning stages of this ministry. Since we met online, connected through blogs, twitter, and facebook, we felt we should include our online friends in this process. Please pray that we follow God’s plan and not our own. Please pray that above all women are brought to a deeper relationship with Him and that He is glorified in everything we do.
Hang on – this is going to be one EXCITING ADVENTURE!
Life by Committee
You can’t lead by committee and you can’t live by committee.
I had a boss who used to tell me the first part all the time. He didn’t mean I didn’t need a team to work with and support. He just knew that I needed the courage to step out in confidence.
Standing on my own convictions and not leading by committee. It’s that simple, but it’s something I struggle with daily. It’s the people-pleaser in me. I want people to like me and I want to please them — I miss the mark, a lot.
I’ve been struggling with some things and I’ve polled people for their opinion only to get a wide array of answers. It hit me today — it doesn’t matter what people think, I will do what God calls me to do. It’s that simple.
Does this mean I’ll never listen to another word spoke over me — no, not at all. I cherish those friends who have the heart to speak up when I’m heading down a bad path or making questionable choices. I NEED these people in my life.
When I say lead or live by committee, I’m talking about making sure everyone likes my idea to:
- paint the living room red
- cut my hair off
- change jobs
- pick a new Bible study
- stop teaching on Wednesday night and begin a Monday night class outside of the church
- change the women’s retreat to a girlfriends roadtrip
It’s not that I don’t value input, but some things are just between me and God. I have to follow where He leads me. Even as I write this I’m worried that some people will not like it. That’s just life.
I do NOT want to march to the beat of someone else’s drummer
I do NOT want to stand still because I’m comfortable
I do NOT want to miss the blessing of stepping out in faith
I do NOT want to miss one second of God’s calling on my life
So, I ask you today….
Do you lead or live according to what God has for you or do you choose to double check everything with friends before moving forward on faith?
Mean all Grown Up
I posted a couple of days ago on mean girls, but I decided there’s more to this story.
Girls are mean to one another and they learn the mean from mean Moms and other women. Some girls are raised on mean and some learn it to survive in mean girl world.But girls grow up and the mean get’s less evident but it’s still there.
I’m blessed to have LOTS of women in my life. I work with women, mother two young women, teach women, minster and speak before groups of women. I have lots of women in my life and they are all different. There are some who are outgoing and boisterous, others are shy and quiet, some are my age and older and others are young women and some young Moms. I LOVE each one of them and I love them for their differences.
But there’s some mean among these women and it BREAKS my heart. Yes, you read that right. Even among my Christian women there is some mean — and it’s tearing us apart.
It’s one thing to be hurt by a women who does NOT profess to be a follower of Christ, but to be hurt by someone who declares she loves the Lord and tries to live by His example — that hurts. A lot. I’m not talking about someone forgetting to wish you a happy birthday or rushing by you without saying hello — that’s not intentional mean (usually it’s not), that’s forgetfulness and busyness. What I’m talking about is intentional mean — gossip, backbiting, cruel comments, and I could go on but I’m certain you know what mean looks like.
I’ve been on the receiving end and on the giving end. I hope to never be a mean girl again and with the Lord’s help, I won’t be. I can’t help if someone chooses to be mean to me, but I can change how I respond to the mean. I don’t want to let that bother me. Someone’s thoughts or comments on me do NOT change who I am in Christ. And beyond that, I MUST continue to love her…. yes, even the mean girl.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
We girls are a powerful force for the Lord, but we have to stop focusing on our differences and look to Him for guidance. We have to stand together in love and in support of one another. Let’s link arms and serve the Lord together.
How do we stop the mean?
What are your suggestions? Ideas? Stories?
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Mary Snyder is a published author, freelance writer and engaging speaker. Her ability to deliver truth wrapped in humor enables Mary to connect to women on a personal level.-
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