And then you find out you are Asian

Posted by on Mar 2, 2016 in random ramblings | 1 comment

Recently, I went to see a doctor about having a bit of face work done -- do not judge!  I wanted to see about getting my neck tightened -- just a bit.  And since I was there, I thought why not ask about getting my eyes done. I've always had heavy lidded eyes and have long wished for those  big beautiful lids. So the doctor looked at my neck first -- and explained that getting your neck tightened really requires getting your face tightened.  And he was nice enough to say I don't need my face tightened -- at least not yet. Then he looked at my eyes...  
"You are Asian, right?" Uh.... no "But you have Asian blood? " Blank stare "Polynesian?" Nope. "Only Asians have these type of eyelids."
Well --okay. And all this time I've been marking that Caucasian box on all types of forms.  Now, I'll be marking that Asian box! And I'm googling 'makeup for Asian eyes.'      

Finding Your Passion even when you didn’t know it was lost

Posted by on Feb 5, 2016 in adventure, blessings, Seeking Jesus | 1 comment

One year ago today I opened up this little planner -- the Passion Planner and began a journey to finding my passion. IMG_7641 copy Now, let me say that MOST people begin a new planner on January 1st or at least sometime in January.  Me?  I let that new year soak in for a month and then I get hopping.   So today I opened my new Passion Planner -- and remembered just how much this planner helped me make a change in my life.  Now, let me state that I do not believe the planner has ANY magical qualities -- nothing like that, but I do believe it helped me FOCUS -- and it helped to REMIND me WHO holds my life in His hands.  The planner was and is a tool to moving out of the muck of everyday life and moving on to live and work and exist in your PASSION -- the passion that the Lord has for ALL of His children... ALL of us are called to a life of Passion and purpose.  Sometimes we just get caught up in the daily grind and forget to focus on the One who gives us our passion! So back to my story -- a year ago I opened up my Passion Planner and began to take stock of where I was in life.  I knew it was time to move on from the job I had -- the handwriting had been on the wall for a while.  I felt strangled, stifled and without a way to share my creative and business passion.  I knew it was time -- but I didn't know HOW to go about it.  After all eight years with a Christian charter cruise company is a odd skill set.  Where to go?  How to go?  What to do?  All those thoughts rambled through my head and heart.  And then I opened the first pages of that planner and I wrote out my first  Passion Roadmap: FullSizeRender   I have some LOFTY goals on that roadmap -I LOVE what the Lord had me write for a lifetime goal --
Connect people to Jesus Connect people to passion Use local, national, and international platforms to show LOVE not judgment
And that short term goal -- find a new career path in THREE months.  Now, realistically that is CRAZY!  Just plain bat crap crazy.  But I wrote it and then I took that little three month goal and created my FIRST passion plan! My number one action item was PRAY!  And I did.  Daily, Hourly and often even more frequently.  I prayed for direction, wisdom and discernment.  And I read the Word of God -- I spent hours with my head and heart buried in scripture. I also used my planner as a journal of the journey -- and reading back over it today I'm JUST BLOWN AWAY at how the Lord was at work.  Here are a few highlights that I LOVE:
Feb 12 -- I apply for a position with Compassion International (one week after making that first road map and committing it to prayer) March 7 - Prayed for affirmation and wrote: Trust God's Plan (always better than mine); Wait on the Lord (His timing is perfect) March 11 -- I have an interview with HR at Compassion (LESS than 30 days from applying!) March 27 -- Interview with the man who is now my boss -- and I did the interview while onboard a cruise ship in the Bahamas April 6 - Set sail on what would be my last work cruise.  It was bittersweet but I knew before I stepped off that ship, that my time with Premier was done. April 22 - In person interview with Compassion in Colorado Springs
And this is what I wrote in my planner on April 23rd IMG_7636  


And more than just a job, I got my passion back.  I LOVE working with Compassion.  I love the PASSION my team has for the children in poverty.  I LOVE the passion we have that Jesus is PROCLAIMED in this nation and this world!  I LOVE my passion -- I got it back and I didn't even know I'd lost it.  Slowly I had lost my passion.  I'd let it slip away. I gave others the right to make me feel less passionate -- but no longer.  Those days are done! On May 5th -- remember that was the  due DATE I wrote in my planner -- I was saying goodbye to my co-workers and finalizing details.   On May 11th -- 3 months and 6 days I began my new job with Compassion. I don't know if you've lost your passion or you're just looking for focus, but I know  -- this pay attention to what's happening and make a plan!   We serve a God who is RIGHT IN THE MIDST of the details. I love how He knew just what I needed and put it all together.  He gave me the desire of my heart before I could even articulate this desire. So today, One YEAR LATER I just got home from a week in Nicaragua, I'm getting ready to head out on my first Compassion tour in a couple of months, and I'm LOVING my work with Compassion.   I work with an amazing team and have the most incredible group of speakers -- I'm blessed! And I'm working on my next road map -- What's next Lord?

Romans 15:13!



Eight Years Ago

Posted by on Jan 4, 2016 in adventure | Comments Off

In a small place known as the Blogosphere, a 40ish woman sat down at her Dell computer and typed out the first words of her first blog post. That woman was me. I never really had a plan for this blog... didn't truly know what I was doing, but I figured everyone else was doing it and I just hate to be out of the loop. So it began. Here are some of the first words I wrote:
Welcome to my blog – Joy Filled Living. I pondered what to name this blog. I wanted something quick, snappy, and something that described me. I considered Slightly Frazzled, Mostly Optimist Ramblings of a 40ish Christian wife, mom, and writer, but it missed the mark on quick and snappy. It does describe me -- but let me add this addendum …and Mother of the Bride. I don’t officially become the Mother of the Bride until May 17th, but for now let’s just call me the Mother of the Bride to be.   Now, back to this blogging thing – Joy Filled Living. Isn’t that what we are all called to? A life of joy. It’s not a life of comfort, but one of challenges. It’s not a life of ease, but one of substance. It’s not a life about me, but a life about Him. It’s a life filled with the joy of the Lord – not the happiness of getting my way, but the joy of walking in His Will.   I would like to tell you that I have always lived in the reality of this Joy Filled life, but I would be lying. I got to this place of a joy filled life the hard way, I took the scenic route, the road more traveled. I found this life of joy when everything else didn’t work—finally I looked to the author and finisher of my faith and found that He held the keys to a life of joy. So, here I am – living that life of joy.  
The blog lost the name Joy Filled Living somewhere along the way.  The Bride is now a wife  and the Mom to my four year old grand boy.  The maid of honor, my baby girl, is now a married woman, too.  Life has happened in these last eight years.  Great blessings and great losses.  Our grandson Ben joined the family and we added Tyler, the new son in law.  My niece, Taylor married her man, Brandon.  We've been greatly blessed with all these wonderful additions.  Sadly, we lost my Dad two years ago -- and that's a hole that just can't be filled. My career has been everywhere.  When I started this blog I was just leaving a position as the Director of a non profit to work for Premier Christian Cruises -- and now I'm a relationship manager for Compassion (THE BEST JOB EVER!) Life is good, and it's still filled with JOY.  Not simple, not easy but definitely Joy Filled. I would say I will blog more, but that may not happen -- and you know what -- it's OKAY!  If I have something to share, I'll share it.  If not, I keep quiet ... okay that's funny.  I'll never keep quiet.  I always have opinions and strong ones on all manner of stuff! Happy 2016 -- and Happy EIGHT blog anniversary!  Wow!

If it’s not on Facebook, did it really happen?

Posted by on Dec 1, 2015 in blessings | 1 comment

Thanksgiving!  I love a holiday that is about food and family!  I mean seriously, what is NOT to love.  It's a carb loaded holiday!  This year we had our girls and their husbands, our niece Taylor and her husband and my mom and brother and sis-in-law.  We were missing my sis and my other niece, Laura.  And they were missed.  We also had Vaughn's sis and her husband -- and her three grown sons.  So it was  FULL house and I LOVEd it.  I have only two pictures -- well, four if you count the two I took of my glittered pinecones (and I am very proud of those pinecones -- and that's why they are the picture of choice here).IMG_7645 But the other two pictures are just bad -- well, just bad of me.  The other subjects in the pictures look beautiful -- I, on the other hand, look as if I've been dragged across about 10 miles of rough road.  I call it my festive, I've been cooking, look. But back to the pictures or the lack thereof.  I loved having all my people around and for the first time EVER, I didn't stress.  I just refused to be stressed.  If it wasn't perfect -- so what.  If the table cloth was a smidgen too short to cover the WHOLE dang table -- so what. If we ran out of table space and had to improvise -- so what.  If the carving of the turkey was less than perfect (which was carved by me) then so what.  My people gathered around the table with the too short cloth.  They ate the turkey that was less than perfectly carved and we laughed and enjoyed each other. And didn't take pictures -- and that's the one thing that I started to stress over.  And that only happened when I logged on to Facebook late Thanksgiving night to see post after post of family photos.  Pictures taken around tables and on big expansive porches.  And I didn't have a picture to share -- oh my!  How would anyone ever know how great it was?  How could I tell them about my incredible Thanksgiving?  And I realized -- it didn't matter if I posted a picture or not.  And in that moment I realized that maybe I put too much stock into what my Facebook Friends think of my day.   And that's something to think about. Whether the picture made it on Facebook or not, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day filled with food, family and some laughs.  

Navigating Mental Illness – or is it my fault?

Posted by on Nov 17, 2015 in Seeking Jesus, Uncategorized | Comments Off

11219673_10208447548253202_8985845097335774460_n I remember when she first told me she was struggling with depression and anxiety, I immediately thought 'It's my fault.  I should have been a better Mom. I should have held her more, listened more, paid more attention to her."  But then I realized this is not about me and my insecurities over my faulty parenting. (And for all you new parents out there -- no one does the parenting thing perfectly, regardless of what you see on facebook, instagram or pinterest.  Parenting is a dance between absolute selflessness and total selfishness -- I want the best for my girls, but I also want some ME time ... and a big glass of wine.) My baby girl -- who at 22 years old is no longer a baby, but still my baby - struggles with depression and has for years.  I didn't find out about it until recently and when I found out I immediately went into my 'Fixit Mom' mode.  I'm the Mom and I have all the answers - right?  Nope, wrong.  I don't even understand the questions.  Depression and anxiety are very foreign to me.  I'm the eternal optimist -- always looking for the silver lining in the dark cloud. But depression and anxiety aren't about attitude -- they are about the chemicals in your brain. My daughter, Paige Snyder Dorman, has a mental illness.  Geez, that was HARD to type.  And before I typed it I called her and asked if I should say that.  Because she is fearless and brave, she said Yes.   I don't want to say there are prejudices against mental illness, but there are -- some of which I have long held.  I thought depression was just being sad and blue.  I thought depressed people could and should just 'get over it.'  I was wrong.  Depression is about what is in your brain.  Now I don't pretend to be a medical professional although I binge watched Grey's Anatomy  this summer and feel as if I'm qualified to do surgery with a pocket knife, some super glue and a stapler.  I don't understand all that depression is about.  And anxiety?  I once thought that could be cured with a glass of wine and an episode of Parks and Rec (somehow it all comes back to me and my TV shows).  But Paige's anxiety is something I don't understand -- I'm learning. I can't fix her because she doesn't need fixing.  She is learning to manage her illness her way.  Mom can't swoop in with superMom powers and make it all good again with a plate of cookies and a fun movie.  Paige has decided to live her life out loud -- and that takes GREAT courage.  More courage than I have at my age -- and I much more than I ever had at the sweet age of 22.  When I was 22 I was most concerned about what party I would be attending and just how high I could tease my bangs.  (I was a thoughtful and wise young woman... or not).  While she navigates through the ups and downs of this illness, she's decided to start a blog -- some of it about the struggles of anxiety and depression and some about her life in general. Take a few minutes to get to know her at website Dear Dorman -- she's a amazing writer and great communicator.  You'll enjoy her and if you know someone walking through anxiety and depression -- point them her way.