It was an AMAZING weekend.  Melinda Garman and I, along with five incredible women spent a weekend in the mountains praying, seeking and talking about the new ministry gIRL.

It was a sweet time of unity.  God revealed Himself in a mighty way.  He showed us just what He expects from us as we move forward with gIRL — total dependence on Him.

I stand in awe of His provision and sweet care. He has repeatedly revealed Himself to me (and Melinda) as we’ve walked through these planning stages.  And then this weekend happened…. and oh my!

What an incredible blessing and a time of revelation.  It was also a time when I LEARNED a bit more about inclusiveness.  In my desire to not hurt any, I ended up hurting some who are dear.  But we met it head on and in truth and love we talked it through.  We slammed that door on the enemy!  And thanks to sweet sisters in the faith who are so loving and forgiving, I’ve lived a lesson I won’t forget.

I headed back home filled with ideas, plans, and a list of to do items I couldn’t wait to tackle.  I was excited, thrilled, and ready to dive head first into God’s Word and His Will for gIRL.

I walked through the door, kissed my man, hugged my girl, petted the dog, and talked to the cat — and then I tackled the stack of mail on the counter.   It was different, hand addressed.  I love a real letter so I ripped into it before tackling the bills and the plethora of credit card offers.  Typed on plain paper, I was shocked at what I read.  Seems this person, who didn’t sign the letter, knows me and considers me a mighty prayer warrior.  Sadly, she also believes that I’ve been spreading some type of rumors about someone — she was very vague and still managed to be very venomous.

I was stunned.  Shocked.  Why would someone who knows me and considers me a prayer warrior believe that I would spread lies and why would she write me a nasty letter instead of just asking me?  I was confused — and I’m still confused.  I don’t understand people who mail unsigned letters.  Trust me, I’m FAR from perfect and I have made some horrible mistakes and still do.  I asked the Lord to reveal any malice I have in my heart toward anyone.  I asked that He show me if the letter held any truth.

And there I stood…. literally only home for minutes before I wanted tun and hide.  Just curl up in the corner and let the world go by. But that’s not what we are called to do.

In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?  Ps 56:4

I do PRAISE His name and His Word

I trust Him.

I make a choice not to be afraid.    I was afraid to tell anyone about the letter — but I faced that fear, trusted God  and shared the letter.   I was afraid to take one more step into ministry…. I wanted to quit.  I
don’t want mean letters, but I trusted God and I’m still here.

I know the enemy throws darts at us, but it breaks my heart that someone who knows me, who’s prayed with me, would do this type of thing.   I don’t get it, but I don’t have to.  I’m moving forward.  Trusting God to show me His will

And I’m not reading anymore anonymous letters…  not this week anyway.