7 Steps to Overcoming Comparison Trap

Posted by on Jun 6, 2012 in grace, Seeking Jesus, Uncategorized | Comments Off

  She just has it ALL together. I wish I had her friends. It must be great to be so popular. Those are the thoughts that raced through my mind while I read through my twitter feed today.  Yes.  I struggle with that evil thing -- envy.  I compare my life to hers -- and I come up wanting more. But then it hit me -- I'm comparing what she SHOWS me with what I'm walking in.  This is like comparing the outside of the house to what's really happening behind that front door.  Life happens behind the scenes.  We showcase what we want people to see.  We live in the other stuff. I looked through my twitter feed and my facebook status (because facebook is another way I like to make myself feel insecure ) and I noticed that I'm just sharing the high points.  It's rare that I post the tough stuff, the bad stuff, and the sad stuff.  I focus on the upbeat, the positive, the funny.  In other words, I showcase the best part of me and hide all the junk. And this is the same in life.  I don't broadcast all my junk to the world at large.  Hi, I'm Mary.  I'm having a REALLY bad week.  What to hear all about it?   Other than family and close friends, most people don't have a clue what's happening 'behind the scenes'  in your real life. I have to stop looking at others and focus on Jesus. Enough is enough.  I have to stop this comparison, so I came up with five simple things to remember.
  1. Remember she is NOT trying to leave you out -- sometimes we just get caught up in having conversations on twitter, facebook, and  forget that it's a public forum.  The same goes for face to face relationships.  Have you ever gotten caught up in a conversation and realized that someone was standing right beside you....waiting.   Give grace.
  2. Limit your Social Media --  if reading the tweets or updates of someone makes you envious.  STOP READING them.  This was huge step for me because I WANT to know everything that's going on.  I call it research, others call it just being nosey.  When I removed these updates from my sight, the envy eased up.  Thank you, Lord!
  3. NEVER forget WHO you are -- as a follower of Jesus Christ, you are holy, beloved, forgiven, redeemed, accepted and righteous!  Why would you ever be envious of anyone? Hold onto this truth!
  4. It's a showcase, not real life -- you don't have a clue what she's all about.  What you see are just the best parts, the pretty parts, the showcase parts.  She's not showing you the sad stuff or the hard days.  You don't really know what's happening in her world, just like she doesn't know what's happening in yours.  Give her grace.
  5. Be thankful.  Look around you.  God has a plan for your life -- YOURS!  Work He has prepared for you and you alone.   His Word promises this in Ephesians 2:10.  You can't focus on His plan if you too busy looking at her plan.
Focus. It's my word for this season and one I struggle with.   Envy can take steal my focus.  I'm praying that God gives me laser sharp focus on what He has for me. I'm praying that everything else will become background noise. Today I'm focusing on friends!  And the joy and blessing they are in my life. What is your focus today?