Mean girls. What’s up with this? Seems there are lots of mean girl stories and these are grown up mean girls, not jr high girls. These are grown women snipping and biting with words and tossing caustic glances like arrows in a medieval battle. And then there’s the favored tactic of mean girls everywhere - gossip. You can slay a woman with a few half-truths that just “slip” out.
I’ve watched mean girls in action. I’ve seen them in the office, at the store, at the hair salon, in friendship circles, in church, and in Bible study. It’s heartbreaking.
I’d like to say that I’ve NEVER been a mean girl, but that’s a lie. I’ve been the mean girl and I’ve been on the receiving end of the mean girl. I’ve been on the bad end of gossip and I’ve spread my share gossip. Through the power of Christ I’ve denounced my mean girl status and I’m constantly working to never again act like a mean girl.
Maybe my past is why I have such a passion to STOP the meanness.
Why do we hurt each other? What do we hope to achieve?
If I tell people secrets about her personal life, will they like me more?
If I make her look bad will it make me look good?
Scratch the surface of a mean girl and you’ll often find a woman who is sad, lonely and insecure.
Maybe she’s terrified that you’ll find out that she’s not perfect (so she points out others imperfections).
Maybe she’s scared out of her mind that people won’t like her (so she makes herself valuable by providing the best gossip).
Maybe she’s afraid of losing the few friends she has (and she attacks those who come near her circle of friends)
So how do we stop this marching of mean that seems to be growing and exploding?
Do something nice -for the mean girls. Check out my friend Robyn’s challenge. She’s asking us to do something nice and keep it anonymous.
Let’s do it. Let’s start a wave of kindness to battle the mass of meanness that seems to be everywhere.
And when you come face to face with a mean girl, don’t engage her in a battle. Just walk away - and don’t call your friend and tell her how you wanted to smack her…. oh wait, that’s what I do. Pray for her. Pray that the Lord moves mightily in her life. Trust me it can happen.
Maybe she’s just a sad, lonely, or insecure woman…. or maybe, she’s just plain mean — it happens.
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She Speaks Conference is coming up and I know y’all are thinking — “she speaks enough, the last thing she needs is to go to a conference about speaking and learn to speak more. Is there a Be Quiet Conference? We’ll sign her up for that. “ But it’s more than just speaking — a whole lot more.
She Speaks is the brainchild of Proverbs 31 Ministries and it’s amazing – at least that’s what I’ve heard, since I haven’t had the chance to go….yet! It’s one of those things that’s been on my radar for such a long time but I’ve just not been able to make it happen.
It’s a conference for speakers, writers, ministry leaders, or bloggers. The areas are titled:
She Speaks –workshops for speakers and speakers-to-be
She Writes – workshops for writers, published and those who will one day be published
She Leads – for ministry leaders
She Influences – for young women ages 12-17
She Blogs – for all manner of bloggers from beginner to advanced
And the speakers! Oh my! There are so many incredible speakers – just pop over to the session descriptions and check it out!
I’m telling you this is one GREAT lineup – I’m just wondering how I can get there?
When I sold Girlfriends, God, and Grace to Thomas Nelson in early 2008 I thought “Yippee, I can go!” But it just didn’t happen. Probably has something to do with that whole wedding for our oldest girl.
I just knew I’d make it in 2009 and it would be right on the heels of the book release. I was jazzed – then the book was canceled right before Christmas. Merry Christmas to me. That will knock your pride down a notch or four. It was a tough blow, but God is working it out and it’s truly a blessing.
Then baby girl decides to turn 16 – what’s up with that. And it was car shopping time. And then the economy takes a serious nosedive! I just couldn’t make it happen between car costs, rising insurance ( teen driver– yikes), and the whole economy tanking.
I resigned myself to no She Speaks this year. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go – I do. I want to learn more about speaking, writing, and blogging. Geez, I need work in all areas. I want to fellowship with Christian writers. I have such a desire to spend time with women who are called to write for the Lord. I love my local girlfriends, but their eyes just glaze over when I start talking writing stuff. I want to get to know some Christian writers, speakers, and bloggers. I want to know who to call pm when I hit that snag. I want to learn from them – and I bet their eyes won’t glaze over when I start talking that writing stuff. But it looks like She Speaks 2009 isn’t happening for me.
And then POOF! I read Lysa Terkeurst’s post about the conference scholarship giveaway! I just love her even more than before! How cool is this chick!!
So here I am trying tossing my hat (and heart) into this ring. I’m sure the judges will pick just the right person – I just hope that person is me.
It’s an odd calling this writing and speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly blessed to be called to it. I’m just blown away that the God of the Universe has called us into a relationship with Him — doesn’t that just give you goosebumps.
God has called me to encourage women to seek a deeper relationship with Him and in the midst of all of this He’s blessed me with some incredible girlfriends in my life. I would love the chance to meet a few more. There’s something so powerful in the fellowship of Christian women. It charges my batteries. It helps my spirit and it gives me great joy! I hope I’m picked, but I know the right person will be.
If you’re interested in going – check it out at She Speaks and leave me a comment. Who knows maybe I’ll win and we can be roomies!
I’m working on a devotion for Internet Cafe today — the title is Marshmallow Faith. I love the concept that God has given me — and I love how He gives me something that I can relate to. Like marshmallows.
Since I believe in authencity in all things, particularly snack food, I had to pick up a bag of marshmallows to use during the writing process.
I’m working on the devotional and it hits me — there is a candle on my desk. Right there. Now, where is that lighter? Ohhh, here are some matches. I’ll just light that baby.
Now what to use as a roasting stick? Nope, the pencil is too thick. I think that pen will melt. Look tweezers. Let’s wash that baby off.
Here we go — roasted marshmallows are just a little bit of heaven on a stick (or a pair of tweezers).
And no, the marshmallows don’t taste like candle unless you dip them in the wax. Just pay attention. Also, remember that burning marshmallows are an office fire hazard. Just saying. Why do fire alarms have to be so stinkin’ loud?
Now, back to that devotional.
You know I LOVE all things girlfriends from long lunches with lots of laughter to knowing I can call on a sister when I need some encouragement or some serious prayer. But I can’t STAND it when we compete with each other. You know the drill:
Comparing our children: Your Susie made an A, my Billy made an A+.( ‘Cause that’s why I got into this parenting gig so I could beat out the Jones with my super smart, super cute girls!)
The dreaded backhanded compliment: Your hair looks good, those highlights are really covering up how gray you’re getting. (Just loving on that sister, right there)
Using prayer to show our vast knowledge of gossip: I need y’all to pray for Susie. She’s under a lot of pressure on her and, I don’t know if y’all know this (which is code for listen real close because I got some serious good gossip) but Susie has a drinking problem. She’s real good about it (whatever that means), but I just need y’all to pray for her that she won’t go to drinking with all this pressure she’s got right now. (This is the chick who’ll knock your feet right out from under you. She gets the tiniest piece of information and she runs with it — she’s deadly).
Outright betrayal: I shouldn’t say anything since she asked me not to, but I know you’ll keep a secret. (This one is heartbreaking. Some women trusted this friend enough to share a confidence with her and this is what happens. Sad stuff).
Why do we go after each other? Why do we compete? And what are we competing for? Attention? A spot in some fabricated hierachy of our own design?
God’s called me to reach out to women in love and in truth. I LOVE my sisters in Christ and I LOVE being with them. I’m just heartbroken when I hear of friendship that’s broken through betrayal. A women who’s become the subject of half-truths and lies.
Notice the progression. Starts out with small stuff and it grows until we are out betrayal of a trust.
Girls we have to love each other. It’s not a suggestion. It’s a commandment.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34
I think we’ve got a handle on this tearing each other down (and hear me, I’m guilty of this, but please. I am begging God to give me the strength to overcome. God let me walk in Your wisdom today and beyond. Let me honor my sisters and let me love then as you have commanded me to do.)
Girls, let’s get on with this loving one another thing
My friend Robyn has a challenge up! She’s challenging us to be good to each other and to keep our goodness a secret. Now that’s a challenge. I believe we all want to do wonderful things for others, but we sure do want people to know about that good stuff.
I’m up for this challenge and I encourage you to take part. Are you willing?
I’m pretty good at getting stuff done. Give me a job and I’ll do my best to get it handled. Unless it’s a job like ‘build a new bridge’ or ‘fix public education’ — can’t help you there. But other stuff — I’m your girl.
And this is where I get in trouble. I’m real good to just go charging ahead ALONE.
Not exactly what God is calling me to do. He’s called me to serve women — groups, individuals, but I’m not to do it ALONE. He’s called me to speak truth about His Word to women. I’d rather just be kind of funny and make people laugh (well, sometimes they laugh and sometimes they just feel sorry for me). He has different plans. And these plans include HIM!
He’s called me into a relationship with HIM. And I’m to serve His people for HIM and with HIM. Not by myself. Alone I can do NOTHING! It’s that whole vine and the branches verse.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
I’m continually blown away that He has placed this call on my life. I often just look upward and say “are you sure about this, Lord? Me?” But I DO love serving God and I have such a passion to share the blessing the comes from being in His Word and walking with Him!! He’s called us to this walk. He wants us to be IN relationship with Him. I just want to SHOUT that OUT LOUD!
And it’s not just me that He’s called into this relationship. It’s all of us. He wants a relationship with you, too. He has a job for you, but you need Him to do that job. And you need to KNOW him! I think I was on my band wagon about this last week. But there is so much that we are missing in this life. We’re missing the grace that comes from Christ. Grace that saves us and grace that allows us to live of abundance.
And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16
Whether you’re a charge-ahead person or a laid-back soul, God still wants a relationship with you! Just stop on that for a moment. GOD. The HOLY GOD. Creator of the Univese. Awesome. Majestic. Fearsome. Un-tameable GOD wants a relationship with you. That’s just HUGE. This is about more than salvation. He not only saves us, He gives use an abundant life.
Pete Wilson at CrossPoint Church in Nashville is doing a series, Backseat Jesus that just blows me away. Take a look at it. He steps on toes. But it’s good stuff. His message pierced my heart. But he’s right. We have to decide what we’re going to do to bridge the gap. I don’t want to fake it or work it anymore. I don’t want to switch it and I’m not going to quit it. Take a look at the series.
Live a Life of freedom and abundance! Take the time to get to KNOW God. I think you’ll be amazed at the joy you’ll find as you study His word.